[Intro]

‍lim0, lim0

[Verse]

At nineteen, I went and set some goals for myself

And now I'm twenty and I barely keep control of myself

Know this as well, I'm only ever showin' to tell

Notice the wealth, I focused myself

For the first time in my life I took a walk and picked a lotus as well

The coldest I've felt

Alone inside a room where all the paints peeling

I cannot describe to you all of my strange feelings

Thoughts go dancing in my head about a stained ceiling

And the walls too while I'm at it

Silver bullet in the chamber like the false tooth of an addict

Say I'm depressed and fuckin' anxious that is all true, but it happens

Have you heard? My name is Christian, I just saw coop in a casket

Seventeen days, I look inside my mirror where my enemy lays

Tryna live up in the past, so could you send the replays?

Lotta bullshit been thrown at me, I don't tend to be phased

'Cause my end is retraced

'Cause I'm plottin' on my downfall

Ain't stoppin' till the ground's all

Round me and I'm stuck up in a box, and then I drown off

Said my days were numbered, but I dropped it, now my counts off

Missin' days when weed would help, but now I'm only couch locked

I guess I got another year in me

Twenty-one I'm buying Alcy 'til I barely see fifty

And that is generous, reality been setting in

Getting rid of all my clothes to pay the rent, ain't selling shit

I guess I've been repetitive

Talkin' 'bout my goals that I will never meet

So negative, for what?

I'm angry at the universe

Spat up in my face and took my mom like "This what you deserve"

Tell me lies, the truth will hurt

Heads been up in Jupiter

I remember suicidal thoughts while making food to serve

Shit that sounds familiar

We're just moving through the earths rotations and spins

None of us have asked to be in the situation we're in

And I've been trying to get out for a while, I'm just a pussy

When will I learn that I'll never be happy at any fucking occupation there is

You gotta kill yourself to make a fucking bag

Make ends meet, and envy the ones who can relax

'Cause they're fortunate to be born in a fort with more dollars than they'll ever need

I just spent like half my check so I can have some stuff to eat

The government speaks tongue and cheek

"Unbelievably" I'm tryna die in like a couple weeks

Oh Lord gimme something please

Plotting out my death since seventeen, but it ain't up to me

"But there's still so much to see" Fuck you mean?

Everybody knows this life is never what its up to be

You're stuck with these cards that they dealt and it fucking reeks

One, two, three, countin' everyday I feel too stunned to breathe

Blocking you is not enough, I'll rip my eyes, you suck to see

Tough to leave, you owe me for trauma, plus the weed

Cutting deep, but it's still way too shallow to succumb to peace