(Verse 1)

How the times have changed, still don't know if it's right

Now a bunch of people know me but I haven't shown the fight

From the bottom to the top and back 'cause I can't handle it

You think this is hard work? I'm just rambling

And everybody in my circle knows that I'm the one

Everybody knows that I can make it I just haven't won

Contemplating if I should just spit these lines and save 'em

Or if should go back to notepad and spend hours to rephrase 'em

I don't know if anyone would care about the things I do

'Cause not every bar will make it, you don't know what I hid from you

Keep telling me my rap is shit my flow is crap my bars are weak

Five years ago I would've cared and people changed the way I speak

Rapping now in English 'cause the language's second nature

But in my heart I'm Austrian and thinking I'm a failure

You hear my voice on random beats and think that I got style and shit

But I'm a phantom in reality - I swear I'm fighting it

Not talking 'bout self-harm, the suicidal thoughts

The friends that I lost, the things that I've bought

'Cause this is from the heart I'm sharing how I feel inside

Life has just been passing by and I can't tell if I'm alright

No luck with girls, nothing's ever going right

Tell me I'm not in love with you, hide my feelings deep inside

Everybody knows you got a special place now in my heart

For some things that you said and not just 'cause you're painting art

Back to other topics let's talk 'bout the twisted fuck I am

'Cause I'm so bad at making friends, I'm the first to make amends

Sick of losing friends these days 'cause I know they ain't comin' back

Sick of people joining me 'cause they think that I'm runnin' rap

No fuck that - I know I'm a sick fuck on the beat

But still got a hundred miles to go before I hit the peak

Now would you please fuck off I'm not in need of sympathy

You should be my friend 'cause I have none but I disagree

(Bridge)

And you think you could judge me by the way I talk, the way I live

The way I rap, the way I breathe, the way I dress, the way I act

The way I look, the way I ran, the way I passed, the way I'm blessed

The way I am

(Prelude)

Back to 2019 when I had to pick my path in life

Back to 2018 when daily I felt crap inside

Back to 2017, I met a girl and fell in love

Back to 2016 when I thought that I would end it all

Back to 2015 when I first rapped on a beat

Back to 2014 when grandma died and I felt weak

Back to 2013 when everybody fucked me up

Back to 2012 when I knew this shit just wasn't luck

(Verse 2)

Back to every day that I would think I wouldn't make it

Back to being judged by difference nowadays, I can embrace it

Back to fake friends, back to people who would love to see me fail

Sorry that I let you down - you witness me prevail

Still the skinny boy with the glasses tilted on his face

Still the dreamer with a plan but in the end now nothing changed

Still the guy who's scared of every person that he meets in life

Still the asshole 'cause my true color stays hidden deep inside

Everybody hates me for no reason - so I gave them one

Staying in the system, waiting for the change to come

Fucking up my education, wasting 4 years of my life

I know the way I treated you everyday was not alright

Type out a paragraph and wonder if I waste my time

Delete it seconds later - rephrase it as a line

Put it on a beat, 'cause this shit is my therapy

The greatest at my craft - is what I bet I'll be

I'm talkin' 'bout rap, movies, books and gaming shit

I don't give a fuck - no matter what I'm making it

For everything my parents did, for everything I had in life

For everything I grew up with, now I am a mastermind

You can call me stupid, can't see half the talents that I have

Give me every try you can I'll show you I'm making bank

Everybody hates me but I am just the way I am

If you fuck me over we'll never be shaking hands

And I would lie if I told you all it's running smoothly

Every moment in my life just feels like a fucking movie

The plot thickens, I see actors come and go

I think now it's the time for me to fuckin' run the show

Still a kid at heart, I'm dreaming big, it's coming true

Overthinking everything, don't know what I wanna do

Don't know what I'm gonna do, but know what I gotta do

It's the time for me, watch out now I'm coming through

Everybody hearing this I'm asking you to take a seat

Listen to my story, ask the questions later, please

Everything I do has reason, everything I say has meaning

Nothing that I've ever gone through in my life was ever pleasing

Push me down the stairs, watch me fall, and get up stronger

Watch me making friends, although it may take longer

Watch me failing miserably, studying and then do better

I am the epitome of someone juggling with letters

That's how life has been forever, I doubt it will ever change

Always have been under pressure, time for me to make some waves

I won't give a fuck if you don't like the things I say to you

Compare us to each other, the difference is I'm making moves

And I don't give a fuck...

(Bridge)

Aight, let's go

(Verse 3)

So this is it, the way to go was never clearer

Build myself a bridge, so I can cross this river

Got so many bars to go, not sure if I can deliver

Dig a little deeper but some topics? They just had me shiver

You would think you know me - but you barely know half of it

People let me in their life and seconds later have a fit

'Cause I'm a shitty person when I am uncomfortable

Usually around people - that's why I'm untouchable

And it's nothing personal, believe me when I say this now

I could never fake a smile, that's why you'll see me frown

Put me against the world, not a single thing could take me down

Don't tell me to smile at you the moment that you see me, clown

Everything I got now compared to what I had before

Is way too much to handle I would rather stay alone

I would rather stay at home, I would rather make a song

Tell some stories 'bout my life - and never let 'em go

Trading friends for music, Friday nights for streaming

Netflix for reading and sleeping for wellbeing

Like everybody hates me now but I don't give a fuck about it

You could never take me down, you keep trying but I doubt it

And to the girl I fell out with, I wonder if you're hearing this

I'm sorry for the days that I would always make you eat my shit

It wasn't right, could never be, I think it's time to let you see

The reason that I'm still here which is you to say the least

I'm not a fool for loving you but for the way I treated you

Pretty disgusting what I said, just know that I feel with you

It's something that I can't change - or make up in any way

Hope you found the one to treat you right for some better day

Everything is changing I don't know if this is right for me

Me showing my feelings is something that you'd fight to see

'Cause every time I show the ones around me that I love 'em

I'm picking the wrong words that'll never be forgotten

Fuck

(Bridge)

Just know that I love you all it's something that I - fuck

(Verse 4)

I feel like Stallone in Rocky, Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump

Running down the stairs and through the alley, it has just begun

Bud Spencer, Terence Hill - it's my time to fuck things up

Mr. Miyagi teaching me everything that I could want

I'm doing what I have to do in order to do what I want

Just because I know, doing what I can is not enough

Creating is priority, laziness a sin to me

I'm living creativity and you look like a mini-me

Fuck

(Break)

(Interlude/Bridge)

And this is for everyone who stuck with me through all these times

Like I wish I could say it - without a thousand rhymes

But I'll admit I never found ways to express myself

So I'm doing it right here and now

(Verse 5)

I'm thankful for every single person that's still in my life

For everybody who was with me during simpler times

Back when bad vibes and feelings would be minimized

And some things I did were dignified

But now the times are changing, vibes are fading

I can't take it, time's invasive, yeah - but in my mind I made it

Lightly blatant, I'm not faking, mind is racing, might not take it

Time to change it, fight me maybe - aah

I know that you see me, pretending you're invisible

I know that you hear me, rhyming all these syllables

I know that you feel me, speaking all these words to you

I know that you hate me, I'm the one who hurt a fool

So this is the end, of everything we've done so far

Backed up in a corner, up against a Wonderwall

Words are written into stone there's no way I could take this back

I am speaking to you - only now through making tracks

(Verse 6)

Everything is going wrong but everything is going right

I'm so scared that eventually - I think I broke my life

And sometimes being quiet just seems like the way to go

But I had to say this shit, and I'm still not making dough

And this is it, I knew this day would come some time

But this is not goodbye I'll see you in another life

Where the skies are bright, purple and the stars align

I just have to say: best regards, this was Bryan