[Intro]

Oh! My sweet Hortense

She ain't good lookin' but she's got much sense

Before I kiss Hortense

I'll always buy a nickels worth of peppermints

Rain makes flowers pretty I hear

I hope it pours on her for a year

That would be immense

You've never met a girl like sweet Hortense

[Instrumental]

[Verse]

The other day I met a jay, her name was Hekekia!

I had to grin to hear her chin about her hearts desires!

I said I bet your little pet is just a real vampire!

He answered 'Hey there pal! She's not that kind of gal'

[Chorus]

Oh oh! my sweet Hortense!

She ain't good lookin' but she's got much sense

Before, I kiss Hortense I always buy a nickels worth of peppermints

Rain makes flowers pretty hear

I hope it rains on her for a year

That would be immense

You've never met a girl like a sweet Hortense

[Verse]

She's got dandy teeth in her mouth

One points north, the other points south

Say! They're both immense!

You've never met a girl like sweet Hortense!

[Outro]

The preacher said come right ahead

I'm mighty glad to meat ya

He whispered Hez, the good book says

That you're a lucky creature

And when he kissed the bride

'We're even!' Hezie cried

Oooooo!

La la la la la!