I just bought me a great long ticket

I'm gonna use it at 4 P.M

So you can call your secret love

And break the news to him

You thought your little romance

Was on the strict Q.T

So if you want your freedom P.D.Q

Divorce me C.O.D

I won't be around

To hear you cry

I'm Texas bound

And by and by

You can reach me down in Dallas

A general delivery

So if you want your freedom P.D.Q

Divorce me C.O.D

There's gonna come a day, girl

When you'll be feelin' blue

You'll can't pay your little old bill

With a big old I.O.U

This dynamite you're playin' with

May be T.N.T

So if you want your freedom P.D.Q

Divorce me C.O.D

No need to fall

Down on your knees

'Cause I all I know

Are my ABC

I ain't no college professor

I ain't got no P.H.D

So if you want your freedom P.D.Q

Divorce me C.O.D