[Verse 1]

I met him in a crowded room

Where people go to drink away their gloom

He sat me down and so began

The story of a charmless man

[Verse 2]

Educated the expensive way

He knows his claret from his Beaujolais

I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray

But then nature didn't make him that way

[Refrain]

He went na-na-na-na-na, na-na

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na

[Chorus]

He thinks his educated airs, those family shares

Will protect him, that we'll respect him

He moves in circles of friends who just pretend

That they like him, he does the same to them

And when you put it all together

There's the model of a charmless man

[Refrain]

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na

[Verse 3]

He knows the swingers and their cavalry

Says he can get in anywhere for free

I began to go a little cross-eyed

And from this charmless man I just had to hide

[Refrain]

He went na-na-na-na-na, na-na

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na

[Chorus]

He talks at speed, he gets nose bleeds

He doesn't see his days are tumbling down upon him

And yet he tries so hard to please

He's just so keen for you to listen, but no one's listening

And when you put it all together

There's the model of a charmless man

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus]

He thinks his educated airs, those family shares

Will protect him, that you'll respect him

And yet he tries so hard to please

He's just so keen for you to listen, but no one's listening

And when you put it all together

There's the model of a charmless man

[Refrain]

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na

Na-na-na-na-na, na-na, na

Na-na-na-na-na, na

Na-na-na-na-na, na, na