[Intro]

Real story

[Verse 1]

I know what depression's like

I find the music really gets me by

When life has its ups and downs, it’s better if I'm left to write

Petrified

Got so many personalities that if I kill myself they'd probably class it as a mass genocide

What’s the point in living? I'm already dead inside

Said I lied on the web, I lied, spun a web of lies

Pray that I go in my dreams every night

I try to overdose in my sleep, I can't get anything thing

Dead surprised I even made it past twenty-five

Drunk, reminiscing on the people that I left behind

Cut off my cousin, I had to sever ties

Turning into a person that I don't recognise

Had a note drafted out where I said goodbyes

I ain't scared, years of trauma have left me desensitised

When I die there will be people posing as friends of mine

You know, people that never tried

When I asked for help they never pressed reply

I fucking hate this shit, I deserve it

I fucked up so many relationships

So dishonest, I would rather tell a lie and take the risk

Being honest it's such an awful way to live

I downplay the state I'm in

I comfort eat until it makes me sick

I'll be on a bender while simultaneously staying in

Minds thinking crazy things

Every single day’s a myth

Feeling sluggish like the first time I ever blazed a spliff

Waiting for therapy, six months on a waiting list

It’s like I'll only get the help if I decide to pay for it

A bit obsessed with cigarettes, I need a daily fix

I know it’s a crutch but nothing you could say can make me quit

I've been told my personality's addictive

Endlessly creative but my sanity's restricted

Is it my depression talking or the way my head is wired?

I just cannot tell the difference, I go from normal talk and then turn manic in an instant

That’s the standard, the patterns that I live with

I've struggled and I'm turning to the calories and drinking

When I tried to top myself

That was when I got the help

Man I'm feeling angry at the system

I'm just tyna rap and make a living

But I'm stuck in 9-to-5's just wishing

That it could be different

I can't live my life thinking that I am some victim

Taking music serious is such a rational decision

Since [?] died, I ain't been the same

Thought I'd recover but things didn't change

I'm going a bit insane

Read comments on my videos until no pills remain

Hours later I've got drips in my veins

Shit, my life flashing before my eyes

Doctors don't like what I'm talking like

Charlie's mortified

Didn't save to pay the rent, I was having an awful time

Seeing life through morbid eyes

Every time I post a link asking somebody to buy my music

I get anxious because I look stupid

I'm just tyna show my family I can do this

So skint once I accepted twenty pound for releasing thirty-five for an exclusive

I need to get the help before I wreck myself

I'm pretty messed up for an advocate of mental health

In the grand scheme of things, no one really cares about you getting well

Dead career and I'm dead scared I will soon be dead myself

[Outro]

Yeah that'll do