[Intro: Narrator]

This is an intermission track and an absolute skip. Prepare yourself for HOT FUCKING TRASH

[Chorus: Hywel Playz]

Potato

Potato

[Fact: Hywel Playz]

Po-ta-to. A potato is a starchy plant tuber, which is one of the most important food crops, cooked and eaten as a vegetable. You know what a potato is, right? (right? right? right? right?...)

[Spoken Word: Alex]

When you paused it, I still heard Hywel's voice when you paused it... haha- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Are you okay?)

I don't remember

[Pre-Verse: Sammy]

I say uhh...

S- hold on. yea- So far we got the- Mayonnaise, Bell Pepper, Avocado, Tomato, and the Cucumber, yuh

Cu- cu- now- now... Now we add in the potato

It isn't a tomato, Texas has torna- okay just drop it- I'm going back to the kitchen

[Verse 1: Michael]

He's been plotting on this salad for like seven days

Caught in his emotions, hoping for heaven's praise

(Bite this mixing sucks) (It only gets worse)

But every time we come around and say it's tasteless

He screams at us and says our argument is baseless

(Potato) The first time, he was kind of confused

Second time around, he was just unamused

But when the third time came, I saw something was wrong

And by the sixth over a month ago he couldn't stay strong

I saw him in the basement, quietly crying

(Potato) I didn't know it hurt him so much and how hard he was trying

I guess I also shed a tear

Then ran back to the kitchen so he didn't see me near

Told Hywel what I saw he didn't understand

Said (It's not our fault the fucking salad is canned)

I replied, be mindful, his feelings are more fragile than playdough

Doesn’t matter if you hate it just hold on to the potato (POTATO!)

Put a smile on when he’s back, in the meanwhile think of this

The potato that you’re holding is the key to human bliss

Cause we made so many products and created so much goods

That we know to use potatoes for some things that aren’t food

Like a battery, powering machines with electricity

Take them to the kitchen and they’re used in eccentricity

Put them in a bowl and start to mash their fucking guts out

(Does it matter when this salad makes me want to rip my nuts out?)

If you deep fry a potato then you got yourself some fries

Cook them in the oven you can make yourself a pie

Fill a plastic bag up, DIY your lays

(I will walk out of this house if you say another phrase)

Okay Alex, since you think you’re so fucking smart

How about you tell me what type of potato fills up your heart?

(I’d probably have to say the ones that are sweet)

This comes from the same guy who has a crippling addiction to feet

(Okay dude I DON’T CARE!) You're mad... you're mad...

(This salad freaking SUCKS dude I hope that you’re aware) (I'd rather be skinned alive than eat this)

(You’re just glazing over Sammy cause you’re mentally retarded

If you take another bite I bet your liver gets discarded)

Okay! Watch me! (Yeah I’m watching!)

(...Are you gonna eat it?!)

I’m gonna eat just give me a sec

(This potato is inedible)

Nope, it’s not I just need me a minute

Oh shit- (This pota-)

[Outro: Michael]

An hour later found myself in the E.R

With Sammy waiting for me and my colon in a jar

Everything before me waking up is in a blur, but

One thing I remember is this salad left a scar

Sammy is inviting us again around tonight

Telling us that this time, the salad is alright

Now I'm sure to- if to come, and try and eat another spud

(Potato, potato) Cause I might just find myself lying in vomit shit and blood

[Outro 2: Mervin]

(Now, people usually pair potatoes with... Onions.... But we, have a different... Opinion)

(Now, people usually pair potatoes with... Onions....)