[Verse 1]

I don't need no wheels, I don't need no gasoline

'Cause the wind that is blowing is blowing like a smoke machine

If I said to you that I was looking for a place to get to

'Cause my neck is broken and my pants ain't gettin' no bigger

[Chorus]

I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life

And some good old boys

I'm writing my will on a three dollar bill

In the evening time

[Verse 2]

All my friends tell me something is gettin' together

I got a beard that would disappear if I'm dressed in leather

Now let me tell you about my baby, she was born in Arizona

Sittin' in the jailhouse trying to learn some good manners

[Chorus]

I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life

And some good old boys

I'm writing my will on a three dollar bill

In the evening time

[Verse 3]

Matchsticks strike when I'm riding my bike to the depot

'Cause everybody knows my name at the recreation center

If I could only find a nickel I would pay myself off tonight

'Cause nobody knows when the good times have passed out cold

[Chorus]

I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life

And some good old boys

I'm writing my will on a three dollar bill

In the evening time

I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life

And some good old boys

I'm writing my will on a three dollar bill

In the evening time

[Outro]

Don't talk to me

If you're looking for somebody to cry on

Don't talk to me

If you're looking for somebody to cry on