Alright alright settle down settle down everyone
May I have your attention please
I’m sorry what, yes the entrance is this way
However if you’ve just arrived you do need a ticket before proceeding
You can purchase them back there
Now our experience is an all in one sort of thing
There are a number of attractions all quite differently themed
My associate herе will let you know wot to expect
Evеning ladies and gents, lemme give you the basics
Lavatories to your left and to the right the exits
Up ahead is an area designated for refreshments
We ask for sensibility when using condiments
Now you could go off on your own but it isn’t recommended
The actors get eccentric when left untended
If I got to be candid the majority are unhinged
I mean we have rules but some have infringed
No liquor just out our minds with the way we speak
Hannibal Lecter out here feeding on meek
Animalistic specter spook you like horrific freak
Horrific director, see his picture, c’est magnifique
On set strobe light line up the camera yell action
Do a stunt jump and shout cut out the bad actin
We imagine scenes worthy of a standin ovation
Jaws on the floor because shock and awe is the reaction
Tickets please, please present your tickets
Might scare you stiff and silent but you won’t hear crickets
These shows may shock the toughest of your bigots
Stay inside the ride at all times don’t chew off your digits
Yeah you’re in for a wild wild ride
Your boats gonna get rocked side to side
The thrill you’re about to receive is bonafide
Tonight is a spoonful of terrify so open wide
Tickets please, please present your tickets
Might scare you stiff and silent but you won’t hear crickets
These shows may shock the toughest of your bigots
Stay inside the ride at all times don’t chew off your digits
Yeah you’re in for a wild wild ride
Your boats gonna get rocked side to side
The thrill you’re about to receive is bonafide
Tonight is a spoonful of terrify so open wide
Oh hello hello, half way through already
Oh yeah this isn’t quite over yet
So don’t you worry love
Theres plenty more where that came from
A fright just a hair shy of a ticket punch
Life might flash before your eyes to give you a hunch
Air fry so when you take a bite it’ll crunch
Lights just bright enough so you can watch and munch
If you keep tripping a bunch you could end up in mud
Respect the fact that we on the hunt like Fudd
Mix and match to reattach your facial features
Tinker your stinker to your speaker so your thinker farts oh crud
It could get quite morbid if we got to be sordid
We were being guarded, that’s just what our swords did
So don’t paint emotions until they’re color sorted
This is a rush better than what you imported and snorted
The kind of show this is might be up for debate
If gotcha wondering, it’s too late you took the bait
It’s akin to your fate with a mystery loot crate
Lips quiver w’hate at this rate so we’ll tell you wot mate
Tickets please, please present your tickets
Might scare you stiff and silent but you won’t hear crickets
These shows may shock the toughest of your bigots
Stay inside the ride at all times don’t chew off your digits
Yeah you’re in for a wild wild ride
Your boats gonna get rocked side to side
The thrill you’re about to receive is bonafide
Tonight is a spoonful of terrify so open wide
Tickets please, please present your tickets
Might scare you stiff and silent but you won’t hear crickets
These shows may shock the toughest of your bigots
Stay inside the ride at all times don’t chew off your digits
Yeah you’re in for a wild wild ride
Your boats gonna get rocked side to side
The thrill you’re about to receive is bonafide
Tonight is a spoonful of terrify so open wide