[Intro]

Yep. SRE 3 will set us free in 2023

LMS Operational Excellence Working Group

First time you’re ever given documentation over a rap loop, right?

Here we go!~

[Verse]

It’s a new quarter, I see all your double takes

Like we’re at Ruth’s Chris we’re bringing you table stakes

Services nervous so your Apple cable shakes

Do what we must to make LMS stable, thanks

Alerts in the thousands, I know it seems daunting

When GCNs stop quicker, we'll all be flaunting

Forgetting the days when IRIS was haunting

And sleep through the night whenever we’re wanting, (it’s the NOC!)

In order to get there we need a full audit

And I can’t do it for you, I’m not a prophet

Get rid of alerts, please don’t simply pause it

Then you’ll hate InGraphs a bit less I posit

With Co-Runbookman, we’ll bring you some tooling

To reduce your alert count and no I’m not fooling

Your dashboards will load so fast you’ll be drooling

But in order to have quality, you first need some schooling

[Chorus]

In our LMS club, on-calls the bouncers

They deal with any trouble they encounter

Put runbooks on alerts, you’ll never flounder

Doesn’t matter if the graph’s a Gauge or a Counter

[Verse]

Whether latencies up or GC is stalling

You don’t want SREs to come callin’, (right, Colin?)

React quickly so red graphs are fallin’

The last thing we need is engineers bawling

How do we know a runbook’s high quality?

Follow our three steps, that is the policy

Only facts the matter, please avoid mythology

You’re trying to avoid escalation to Balaji

The steps are in order of their priority

Documented, not given tribal or orally

Embedded links, so you’re not searching worriedly

The last step should be the next line of authority

Follow this rap, you’ll never be in hysterics

We’ll help you out with problems that are generic

Keep ‘em handy like soldiers living in barracks

And you’ll never toil or be Idle like Eric

[Chorus]

In our LMS club, on-calls the bouncers

They deal with any trouble they encounter

Put runbooks on alerts, you’ll never flounder

Doesn’t matter if the graph’s a Gauge or a Counter