Released on June 22, 2018

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Find myself kissing the sidewalk

Brown water and xanny together

Just trying to turn my mind off

Fool I was, thinking today would be better


Feeling I'm getting

Personal heaven

Craving I've had since I was eleven


Brain interference

That's draining my spirit

I know it's bad for me, I don't wanna hear it


All alone

No way home

Bloody nose

From my snow


All my friends

Left me for dead

I find myself here again

Here again


Why can't I get high

Without wanting to die?

Without wanting to die?

Why can't I get high

Without wanting to die?

Without wanting to die?

Told myself I'd find a limit

Honest-to-God I'd be done with my sinning

Two pills before I forget it

Walls closing in, the ceiling is spinning


Brain going manic

I start to panic

This night's not going the way that I planned it


Oxygen's thinning

Tires are skidding

This is all my fault, man, who am I kidding?


Close my eyes

Say good bye

Let me be

Let me die


Mom and dad

Don't be sad

Really, it's not so bad

Not so bad


Why can't I get high

Without wanting to die?

Without wanting to die?

Why can't I get high

Without wanting to die?

Without wanting to die?

I've been lying

And I'm dying

And my mother

She is crying

No I'm nothing

No I'm nothing

No I'm nothing

No I'm not

I'm nothing at all

“Bloody nose From my snow”
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In this case ‘snow’ refers to cocaine, which can cause your nose to bleed if snorted.

“Find myself kissing the sidewalk Brown water and xanny together”
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The singer is drunk, stumbling down a street from taking Xanax with Alcohol.

Xanax is a medication used to treat panic and axiety disorders and the ‘brown water’ refers to Hennessy, a high percentage alcohol. When taken together, they amplify the other’s effects and there’s a higher risk for an overdose. He is kissing the sidewalk because that is what happens when you mix those two drugs, you nod and bend over so far it looks like you’re kissing the sidewalk.

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