Good morning, my fellow americans
Never you fear cause Attack Slug is here again
With sincere hopes you'll vote for the better man
So let me outlay the scope of a better plan
So grand, yet it's simple to understand
To get the internet faster than in japan
Expand the bandwidth to all of the nation
So latency is never a cause of frustration
Compensation for those drowned in litigation
From entertainment entities devoid of regulation
And no hesitation to abolish the DMCA
And lobby fines bankrupting the RIAA
Hey, i'll take care of all the issues
For the 4chaners a free box of tissues
I'll misuse funds to fund my favorite shows
Send jack thompson down to guantanamo
And did you know i'll appoint nerds? matter of fact
The new head of NASA, a nerd with a white hat
I get that i might be remembered for one thing
My legacy will be the new department of Fronting
Turn the oval office into a game room
Sure i'll pass your bill just beat me in doom 2
I hear you, Attack Slug for president?
Is he qualified? well frankly thats irrelevant
They'll be free gamefly just for the hell of it
Pickin my own side, no donkeys or elephants
My vp says we're conquering pluto
So please put your hands together for KABUTO
Kabuto for vp my policies are unseemly
In the oval office bummin chun li
And holdin forth on topics like unbanning guns and weed
Make em mandatory you'll need these to fuck with me
In soviet russia machine rages against you
You get rocked for your ducats, hey i'm paid to bend rules
My razor rend fools, no need for secret service
Send an intern up in my office, that's secret service
Any country frontin on the states yo we best bomb it
Im worse than mugabe, lickin shots at a press conference
The best your nation got's a barely potty-trained battle tortoise
Vaporize your thatch village with a single stratofortress
Bayonet through osama's skull, that's some drama culled
Defending the fuckin free world still got time to rock a show
Sworn in as vp, who the fuck recommended this
I'll take a chainsaw to the house of representatives