Teddy Picker - Intellectual

[Verse 1: Alex Turner]

They've sped up to the point where they provoke

The punchline before they have told the joke

Plenty of desperation to be seen

Staring at the television screen

They've sped up to the point where they provoke

You to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the joke

Well sorry, sunshine, it doesn't exist

It wasn't in the Top 100 list

And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder

Don't be surprised when you get bent over

They told you but you were dying for it

[Verse 2: Alex Turner & Matt Helders]

She saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed

The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means

Another variation on a theme

A tangle on the television and the magazine

D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?

D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath

That says that "We are defenders of any poser

Or professional pretender around"

And when did your list replace the twist and turn

Like a fist replaced a kiss?

Don't concern us with your bollocks, I don't want your prayer

Save it for the morning after

And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder

Don't be surprised when you get bent over

They told you but you were gagging for it

Let's have a game on the teddy picker

Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?

Already thick and you're getting thicker

Let's have a game on the teddy picker

Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?

Already thick and you're getting thicker

Presuming that all things are equal

Who'd want to be men of the people

When there's people like you?