Dead, Dreaming
By Apollo Clone
On Am I A Psychopath Pt. 2: What If You’re Right and They’re All Wrong?
Released on November 6, 2020
They’re burying me with my dead dreams, my dead dreams
They’re burying me with my dead dreams that still work
Dead, dreaming, I’m awake and it aches
Could you drop your job, come over here and help me?
I’m doing better now, still harder on myself
Than you could ever probably imagine
What’s that frown on your face about?
Took you to space, dance on the moon and clouds
I knew those tears meant something was still wrong
Gave you a diamond crown then watched you crash right to the ground
What does it take to make you anything but sad?
They’re burying me with my dead dreams, my dead dreams
They’re burying me with my dead dreams that still work
You and I fall, we’re drowning
My city filled with ghost-goblins
Be the one to solve my problems
Told you all I’m always nauseous
Somewhere down the line I lost it
Some of the little things: I cannot Sleep
Drown all that sorrow, all my grief
The dreams I have, they’re fading out
I tried to save a life but you wouldn’t let me try
They’re burying me with my dead dreams, my dead dreams
They’re burying me with my dead dreams that still work
These two lovers are sinking in a toxic romance, plagued by the the skeletons in their closets that control their grip on the relationship.
Apollo can’t trust anyone, and it is driving him crazy. He has major trust issues, unable to discern the authenticity of seemingly good-natured gestures offered to him. He has been screwed over too many times, and wishes for just one genuine person to join his team.
Apollo is not opposed to dying, as at least then he will not have to live with the dark, heavy thoughts that are trapped in his mind all day long.
He acknowledges the detrimental paranoia this has manifested, as there is no one he can let himself get close to; be that peers, romance, friendship, etc. An ulterior motive is constantly questioned as Apollo believes there always to be a hidden agenda among others' attempts to be by his side.
Apollo is caught in a relationship devoid of optimism. Both him and his lover are emotionally scarred, letting painful pasts prevent a happy present/future. No matter what he does for this girl, it isn’t good enough. She is docile and aloof, impervious to Apollo’s good will.
Apollo reminds the listener that he has already proclaimed this incessant paranoia in his song ‘Nauseous.’ He continues to attribute the precarious loyalty of those he lets into his inner-circle to the raddled mental state he finds himself in, as music is a business, and business at its core is founded upon viable relationships. His quest is to build a team to advance his music goals, but he cannot trust anyone enough to achieve this.
This lines comes at a proverbial point of view, relaying the cries of Apollo’s peers whom have given up on themselves, falling victim to Hip Hop’s rat race. They have the spark and passion to make it, but often it seems the saturated competition will discourage underground artists from fulfilling what it takes to make it as a successful artist.
Apollo yearns for his romance to yield more happiness. He does not get the attention demanded; his cries going unanswered. This lover of his seems to always have something more important to tend to, relegating Apollo’s capricious emotional outcries.
Apollo is trying to master the fruitful lifestyle of becoming his own friend; loving himself- as opposed to self-criticism/punishment for not getting more than practically possible done in one day.
Apollo doesn’t let anyone help him. This is prevalent in his current relationship too, as neither he nor his lover will accept rescue from their glum perceptions.
Apollo often has to explain himself to others who are skeptical of his goals, and inevitably judge him without considering his progress made. He is aware, however, that pressure to succeed as a musician grows with time/age.
This lines comes at a proverbial point of view, relaying the cries of Apollo’s peers whom have given up on themselves, falling victim to Hip Hop’s rat race. They have the spark and passion to make it, but often it seems the saturated competition will discourage underground artists from fulfilling what it takes to make it as a successful artist.
This lines comes at a proverbial point of view, relaying the cries of Apollo’s peers whom have given up on themselves, falling victim to Hip Hop’s rat race. They have the spark and passion to make it, but often it seems the saturated competition will discourage underground artists from fulfilling what it takes to make it as a successful artist.
In callbacks to his tracks ‘I Don’t Sleep’ & ‘Choking on Air,’ Apollo is providing more insight into how his mental state became so askew. He cannot sleep and suffers constant trepidation, taking the beauty away from life.
The weight of the pipe dreams Apollo carries keeps him up at night, unable to rest. Each unfulfilled moment that goes by brings pain. He feels petrified as he is doing everything humanly possible to navigate through the music industries challenging arena.