[Dipper]

Let's start this show with a fact you don't know

My name is Dipper. But your mom is a stripper!

It's why she left you and your sister, and even your dad

You're gonna die a virgin when I'm a true Chad!

You ain't gonna win when I rap with a spin

Today's your last day, I'm not here to play!

[Dib]

Low blow goin after my mother (uh)

I never got to meet her, so get ready to smother

See, I hope she's not dead, I hope she's still here

If she's really gone, say goodbye to your career!

On what grounds could you say you're a Chad?

You couldn't land Wendy, and man that's sad

[Dipper]

If you're gonna bring up Wendy, I'ma bring up Zim!

I defeated Gods, you can't even catch this scrim

You don't deserve a last name like Membrane

Actually, with all your fails, we should call you a Lame Brain!

You wouldn't even last a second against Bill Cipher

He would turn you into stone without a decipher!

[Dib]

You have no room goin' after my name!

Dipper Pines, Dipper Swines, Dipper Whines

It's all the same! (uh) My issue with Zim is not your concern

At least I work alone

You rely on your sister, what a joke what a burn! (yeah)

You deserve no credit for slaying the meat Dorito

That was the work of your uncle

So go ahead and choke, on a Burrito!

[Dipper]

You want me to choke, but you can't handle the smoke

Look, you wouldn't last a day in Gravity Falls

You don't have guts, you don't have balls!

Solving mysteries was my mission every day

You can barely catch an alien who wasn't even Grey

If catching Zim was my job, he'd be locked in a knob

[Dib]

You wanna catch Zim? I'd like to go see you try

You can barely catch a pig, stop acting so fly

Time Baby, Rhyme Baby, I got one thing left to say:

It's time for you to go leave, but your sister could stay!

Scratch that. I'm already taken!

I'm dating your dream girl, so I hope you're shaken

(mmm, let's go)