[Verse 1]

I followed Artimus Pyle after a Lynyrd Skynyrd show

We ended up at a NAMBLA meeting

I knocked at the door and Artimus Pyle answered

I gave him pictures of your kid because I hate him

[Chorus]

I gave NAMBLA pictures of your kid

Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!

Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!

Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!

Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!

[Verse 2]

The next day there was a line at your door

Artimus Pyle was going back for seconds

Your kid had a lock of Artimus' beard in his ass

Your kid made Artimus' Saturday night special

[Chorus]

I gave NAMBLA pictures of your kid

Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!

Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!

Artimus Pyle! Artimus Pyle!

Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle!

[Outro]

Lynyrd Skynyrd used to be your favorite band

Until Artimus had your kid's dick in his hand