[AMANDA]
A toast to the groom
To the bride
From Amanda
From the 10605
To your union, and the hope that you provide
May you always be satisfied
Rewind, rewind (take me back to manhattan….)
I remember those days I just may
I remember those days I just may
I remember those days I remember those…
I remember those days I just may
Relive those days ‘til I’m 90 years old
I remember rehearsals
For our opening number in Anything Goes
I remember that dreamlike backstage light
Kind of glow that a spotlight throws
No Julie Neuspiel I’ll never forget our
High school musicals
Dancing Ms Tina’s choreo
Eyelash extensions and wearing show-girls clothes
We met Freshman year, it was our first spring show
In the ensemble, In dance rehearsal
This is how it goes
[JULIE]
Excuse me, I can’t really get these pullbacks right
[AMANDA]
Me neither tap dancing’s so hard, I’m still new at this
[JULIE]
We’ll never get these pullbacks right!
[AMANDA]
Yes we will!
[JULIE]
Yes we will! We’re gonna get these pullbacks right
[AMANDA]
My name is Amanda Culp
[JULIE]
I’m Julie Neuspiel
[AMANDA]
Did you go to Highlands too?
[JULIE]
I went to Eastview…
[AMANDA]
Well that’s why I don’t recognize you. Let’s be friends!
[AMANDA]
So so so—
So this is what it feels like to make friends
With someone who’s just like you what the hell is the catch? It's
That feeling of clicking, like love at first sight
Its All Shook Up with Elvis and 12th night…you’ve seen that, right?
Our conversation lasted two minutes maybe three minutes
Everything we said in total agreement, it’s
A dream and it’s a bit of a dance
A bit unexpected it’s a bit of wo-mance. She’s a
Total hippie, I thought I’d give that a chance
She took me to Clearwater, volunteers for the river!
We camped over night, yo we had our own tent son
And then at night we’d go and skinny dip in the Hudson
High School, always together
Best friends, we were birds of a feather
We went to college with our status in place
And at Wesleyan she saw Andrew’s face and she was
[JULIE]
Helpless
[AMANDA]
And they met in the
[JULIE]
Choir
[AMANDA]
He sang which was
[JULIE]
The dream
[AMANDA]
And I stepped aside, cuz I knew that Julie and I we were ride or die
[JULIE]
His name is Andrew and I can't wait for you to meet him
[AMANDA]
Is he cute?
[JULIE]
Super cute
[AMANDA]
I can't wait either...
[AMANDA]
Cuz I knew…
I’m a girl in a world in which
A best friend’s job is to do that shit
Though she’s at Wesleyan my work’s
Not done ‘til I know she has found the one
Cuz she’s the smartest and the prettiest and
The guy whose gonna get to love her is the luckiest
This Andrew Warner’s now on my list
He better be legit or I’ll be pissed
[AMANDA]
It’s so great to finally meet you
[AMANDA]
Mmhmm
[ANDREW]
Julie tells me you're in an acapella group
[AMANDA]
OMG yes!
[AMANDA]
It turns out…
Andrew’s the best
Handsome, friendly, and we bonded over a cappella
I’d have to be stupid to discount this guy
No, he’s pretty fly
Most important though he loves Julie and treats her right
He gets the best friend seal of approval
I’m not gonna put up a fight
And in the eleven years since Julie and I Facebook separated
I’ve never regretted it once
Because I know what everyone here in this room knows
A fundamental truth
And that’s this:
As far as couples go the Warnspiels reign supreme
They’re a perfect team
Just check out their game each Halloween
And no matter what life throws them
They’ll come out on top each time
Valentines
I know they’ll be fine
They have Nya
Whenever I need cheering up I think of Jules and I
Back there at White Plains High
Singing showtunes…
And then we just grew up so quickly
And now at long last she’s Andrew’s wife
Lets raise a glass to health and long life
(Would everyone please raise their glasses and join me now in a toast)
To the groom
To the bride
From your family and your friends here by your side
To your union
Its about good goddamn time
This whole evening has been sublime
Now I’ll stop, cuz if I don’t I will cry
To you both:
I love you so much I just had to sing
Congratulations on your wedding