Falling head over heels in pain

Wondering what could have led to this mistake

Black washes over me

I cannot see, this cannot be

Yet I know what I have done

Can’t take this back, I am to blame

No, this was not my fault

What of my friends or family?

What’d they do to deserve this

Neglected me, felt only a passive love for me

I refuse to believe

This so called life was not

Just passing time until the end

Choose based on others’ choices

Live based on others’ morals

Failure to follow suit

Leads only to painful punishment

I chose instead to join the dead

I hear them calling me

I won’t be fooled, they never cared

Never

Ignore the plethora of

Sweet nothings and hollow offers

Quiet

Respond with catatonic

Blank stares, false smiles

Fall

Become enraptured with

This endless void I’ve now joined

Keep falling until timeless sleep

I refuse to believe

This so called life was not

Just passing time until the end

Choose based on others’ choices

Live based on others’ morals

Failure to follow suit

Leads only to painful punishment

I chose instead to join the dead

As I continue

To fall into the black

I’m so surprised

To find I haven’t died

A glance overhead

Reveals a far off light

I now suspect

This may not be the end

Flung into the void

Must I now sow what I’ve reaped?

Am I now fated to fall forevermore?

Is this the end or the beginning?

Tumbling again and again and again

Hurtling towards an unknown destination

Crash landing, terra firma

Breathing dark air, seeing nothing

Hearing harsh screaming

Of unknown and yet close origin

Breathless and broken

Blameless and beaten

Loss of consciousness

Tunneling vision

Red pain and choked tears

Freed now at last

Like so many fallen stars

Forgotten once moments passed

This shambling withered husk

Joins the dead

As I no longer

Fall into the black

This lifeless body

Rests on the cold hard earth

It finds no comfort

In such a dreamless sleep

Laying in gentle repose

As all the others weep

I refuse to believe

This so called life was not

Just passing time until the end

Choose based on others’ choices

Live based on others’ morals

Failure to follow suit

Leads only to painful punishment

I chose instead to join the dead