[A.L.T.]

Ah yeah

Yo, Jime, you ready to do this

(Verse 1)

I was at the bar with my drinking team

And it was me, Jack Daniels, and my homie Jim Beam

We were kinda blizted and we were tryin to behave, yo

When in walked a soldier, he was from the Fuzzy Navel

We were fallin', stumblin', crawlin'

In came the police, Captain Tom Collins

And the vato said, "Freeze!" (Freeze!)

He said, "Hands in the air and hand over your keys"

Now we did

And that was kinda simple

Now, here came Margarita and her friend Shirley Temple

I asked my friend 'bout Margarita

He said that Shirley was a virgin and I wouldn't wanna meet her

So I talked to Margarita, cause, yo, she was flyer

I took her to the couch cause I wanted to screw-drive her

Now I'm not one for a speech

But there was plenty of Tequila and sex on the beach, y'all

Tequila

{*Tequila theme playing*}

[A.L.T.] T-T-T-Tequila

Yeah

Alright

Come on

[All] TEQUILA!

(Verse 2)

Here we go again and I'm not fussin'

See, I'm a French Mexican but I kick it with white Russians

At the bar with the drink in my hand

In walked Jose Cuevo, he was Margarita's man

I talked to the Wise Man, cause yo, he's distinguished

His name is St. Ides and he spoke in Olde English

He said, "You better think fast

Cause Jose, is kind of crazy and I heard he shot glass"

He gave me some advice and it went like this, yo

"Catch the Nighttrain and head up to 'Cisco"

I didn't wanna stick around

I caught the 151 to New York, the Greyhound

Now I'm at the Red Zone, everybody stylin'

Showbiz was sippin' Ice Teas on Long Island

I blacked out, the party came to a halt

Cause I was drinkin' the Tequila with the lemon and salt, y'all

Tequila

{*Tequila theme playing*}

[A.L.T.] T-T-T-Tequila

Yeah

Alright

[All] TEQUILA!

(Verse 3)

I woke up in the morning and felt like a zombie

The Tequila Gold Label had bombed me

You see

I woke up late

I wasn't feelin' so great

And Mike said, "There's a Bacardi party starting at eight"

Yo, we walked in the party and started playing our games

We played tops, buds and quarters

With Bartles & Jaymes

Here came Shirley Temple and they told me to chill

Because the Mickey Brothers took her up to Strawberry Hill

They took her thousand dollar mink and she could barely think

Cause the Tequila that she drank had her tickled pink

Now, the music came on and I rocked the instrumental

There's a groupie named Mai Tai, a fly oriental

A groupie is a girl that jocks

She wore a def Black Velvet, and drank Scotch on the rocks

We had a Fake Marriage, now here's the Honeymoon

Yo, it's on, Vagabond

At the Blue Lagoon

Now everybody take a couple of words from the wise

A girlie and a bottle

Tequila Sunrise

Tequila

[ *horn section plays the 'Tequila' theme* ]

{*Tequila theme playing*}

[A.L.T.] Yeah

Alright

Come on

[All] TEQUILA!

{*Tequila theme playing*}

{*people chattering and screaming "TEQUILA!"*}