[Verse]

Losin touch wit myself

As these strange feelins that I hide start to strain my health

See, I really can't tell whether the talkin and therapy sessions even fuckin helped

Hope this poem does me well, even now as I recite the shit my eyes start to swell

Bright thoughts turned pale

Feel like the closest ones around me really the demons in my hell

Let's peddle back to 2012

Was barely old enough to drink but not too young to go to jail

Got attracted to the smell, of jasmine flowers, Haitian cuisine, under a spell

In just 2 short years I'd be Caesar watchin Mona Lisa fall for John dear

My mind was bout as clear, as the message from OG's bout letting snakes near

[Hook]

Keepin grass on a low profile, move fast if you hear another hiss

Went numb so I just don't smile, go ghost though won't be missed

Strange thoughts with a change of heart made for art

Get lost trynna go legit

Had long nights, soul ice

Trynna take my life, think twice, still pull the trigg

Truly sick

[Verse 2]

Paranoid to try again cause it might miss

Nigga gotta write this

Only 18 when I stepped to the world with some verbs and some herbs and a pad and a pen

Stickin to the word wit them niggas on the curb

That's my code

That's my law

All my honor and my Zen

Stressin 9-5s, open mics day and night

Makin bread not for I but for family and friends

Supportin the latter, nobody warns that it gets shakey after

School days, renegades, GMO Gatorades, bastards

Graduets droppin out yea we backwards

Seems we growing up faster, still playin catch up

Egos crashin, fire, is it pride or is it passion?

Even though I'm tryin feel the efforts keep on crashin

Hoppin out the fryin into flames how it catch ya

Leapin wit no knowledge, thinkin life will let it happen

Thinkin like a scholar wit minimal dollars, see the incentive is karma

Now if that's a bitch, it must explain my passiveness

And why I crossed that bridge to rack up all the damages

[Bridge]

Shit, these strange feels

Prayin the pain heals but still, can't deal

Copin wit somethin real

Emotions in the heart turn to soldiers on the field

While my soul remains colder than steel, too ill can't even feel X2

[Outro]

And as I sit, thinkin gets too intense

These circumstances meant to circumvent

The negativity that's in my head

Well maybe I'll try again , hoping this feelin can meet an end

Therapy sessions me and my pen

Strange to think of us as friends