[Verse 1]

What a fucked up world

Or is it my fucked up head?

The only way you are cool

Is if you're gay or dead

[Chorus]

Straight, normal, hetero guy

Normal, hetero, straight guy

[Verse 2]

I never get any chicks

But it's better than a gun

Or a dick in the mouth

Is there any place to be for

A normal straight guy like me?

[Chorus]

Straight, normal, hetero guy

Normal, hetero, straight guy

[Bridge]

Maybe I should pierce my butt

Or get a few tattoos

Maybe I should wear a dress

And be a homo like you

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus]

Straight, normal, hetero guy

Normal, hetero, straight guy

[Outro]

Yeah, that's right

I'm a straight, normal, girl fuckin'

Coffee drinkin'

Titty suckin'

Cigarette smokin'

Seal killin'

Red neck ass bastard from hell