I know I'm not a star but tonight I'm feeling lucky

So I figure if I rap enough somebody might fuck me

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

Don't mind the fantasy

Just sex driven infomercials leaking my reality

I'm exactly what I never wanted to be

A faceless undividual pushing the typical ritual

Nah, that's not me

I'd rather kill myself slowly to a dope beat

Or blow my brains out across these looseleaf sheets

Now watch me prove a point

But I'm not sure what it is yet

When I figure that out you'll be the first one I hit back

Like "who wants to watch me dismantle my mind like a puzzle

And get agitated as I attempt to reconnect the rubble

And if I dig deep to the bottom of my brain

I may find some truth that will help me escape

To a quiet serene place away from all the people

Where I can sit down and ponder on how I really feel

(Chorus)

Just leave a name and number after the beep

I swear I'll try to hit you back when I return to reality

Save me a seat because I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be

Been drifting around for years trying to live off this ability

And maybe she was right and I should fucking quit

Maybe he was right and nobody likes this shit

Maybe I'm a grown man who gets paid to bitch

Makes me wonder why I even choose to spit

Because sure I won't front

It's fun dancing in the stage light

But I'm not going to college just to have an unstable life

Paycheck to paycheck until they check and realize

The kid and wife?

That was kind of a lie

Ain't no family, just me and the monster in my head

This time, I'm gonna bother him instead

Reaching my arms through the bars of his cage

And strangling the bastard until I know that he's dead

Because I've wandered for days just trying to find my pride

And hopefully somewhere along the way I might die

Of dehydration or starvation

The point is that I forgot that I need

More than the will to live to stay alive

And it sucks

Well fuck it, better luck next time

And if not, that's my fault for not taking my advice

But then again, who wants to listen to an infected reflection

When the question at hand is the perplexion I don't understand

Why when I stare into my own eyes do I not recognize

The disguise I have devised for my own divine demise

At this point in time are you still surprised to see me cry

Remove your head from your ass

And open up your fucking eyes to see

We all make mistakes

But some are a little bit bigger than others

But that's okay because they say

That every decision we make makes us us

I guess that's why I'm so unimportant

Because I never give a fuck

(Chorus)

And now I'm starring in his lifeless eyes

I know he's mine

I could feel him for years

Creeping through the fucking ceilings of my feelings and fears

Amplifying all my pain

Making tomorrow feel as if it was a year away

Like I know I can hang on but do I want to

Give me something solid I can hang on to

Give me something with a face and a name

That will be here tomorrow to help me cope with this pain

Because I wandered for years until I found the right path

I cracked all the clues and I crunched all the math

I walked until my feet became bloody and scabbed

And when I got to the finish line I still came in last

Everyone I've talked to just doesn't seem to realize

This music is the only thing between me and my self despise

So I'm gonna keep avoiding suicide

And making music to a beat until the day that I die

(Chorus)