[Intro]

Ring ring!

Pick up the phone, it’s the Based God of the suburbs

“Hello, this is Alex Ain't Dead, do you got time to talk about yo’ L’s?”

[Chorus]

Telemarketer, I’m callin’ out the cap (cap!)

Clickin’ through the ops like I’m scrollin’ through an app (brr!)

Voicemail full but I’m still gon’ yap

I just prank called your aunt, now she sendin’ me snaps (uhh)

I’m a glitch in the mainframe, spam in the inbox

Talkin’ so fast, made your grandma detox

Sold a mixtape through a Bluetooth hotspot

Now I’m in Japan sippin’ tea on a mop top

[Verse 1]

I just got rich off a fake Zoom seminar

Hacked into the Matrix with a Boost Mobile SIM card

Told the clerk “My name’s Dr. Doofenshmirtz”

She gave me a deal on a Tеsla and a church shirt (facts!)

Ain’t no scam, I’m authentic with the fraud

Put a PDF of your taxes on God

Callеd the mayor, told him “Bro, I’m your son”

Now I run the city off a Groupon run (what??)

Based like Xavier, I moonwalk through malware

Flirted with Siri, she said “Boy, beware”

Dropped a diss on a printer, now it won’t fax

Beat so loud it gave my house a panic attack

[Chorus]

Telemarketer, I’m tappin’ in the wires

Glitched out speech, soundin’ like a flat tire

Bought your info off a weird dude on Fiverr

Now your Spotify think I’m your ghostwriter (uh!)

Telemarketer, I’m causin' paranoia

Whispers in your phone like I’m hauntin’ California

Wrote a haiku in binary code

Now I’m banned from every single zip code

[Verse 2]

I’m the voicemail villain, the ringtone reaper

Spoke to your dog, he said I’m a keeper

Beat so random, even math gave up

I just got blocked by a Teletubby fan club

Broke in the game like a 3G glitch

Told your girl I’m an NFT witch

Autotuned my sneeze, now it’s top ten

Got a mixtape droppin’ through your microwave vent

[Bridge] (sped up)

Spam calls got me in a mood like huh?

Voice sound deep like I just hit the blunt

AI clone, but I’m still too based

I just sold a feature through a MySpace case (case!)

[Outro]

Ring ring ring...

“Hello?”

“This is Alex Ain't Dead, and you’ve just been based.”

Click