[Verse 1]

Get up early in the morning, going to the store

Post, Kellogs, General Mills

It's the cereal war

Fucking store never has the Monsters and they never get it more

Post, Kellogs, General Mills

It's the cereal war

[Verse 2]

I hope sexual chocolate is in stock

It's got a condom in the box

I'll try some cocoa puffs today

Who the fuck is Sonny anyway?

Some say Dino's are the best

They've got more marshmallows than the rest

There's not a lot of cocoa in Cocoa Krispies

And always stay away from Wheaties

[Outro]

Now it's dinner time and I'm going back to the store

I had some Erkles, liked 'em a lot

It's the cereal war

I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes

And then I could try Sugar Bombs

The soggies will never get Cap'n Crunch

I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch

Breakfast cereals need to be sweet

That's the only kind I'll eat

Give me sugar, not nuts and twigs!

Do I look like a fucking squirrel to you?