4 years of life

Looking through the window through metal blinds

The dust covered window sill is burial to the dead

Breathe in

Long exhale

"I don't like myself" is pushed from my gut while I wait for it to sink

This is the genesis to the life I lead

Open up

Release

Let it run through like a cancer

The first memory repeats

Looking for an answer

On this memory it feeds

It needs no introduction

No cause or purpose

The rationale of being eternally numb weighs everyone down at one point

The open wounds with no source that never seem to heal

Opening of self

I didn't ask to be this way

Fighting and tearing away to keep these thoughts at bay

Open up

Release

Let it run through like a cancer

The first memory repeats

Looking for an answer

On this memory it feeds

It always feeds