[Verse 1]

My first name is a random set of numbers and letters

And other alphanumerics that changes hourly forever

My last name, a thousand vowels fading down a sinkhole to a susurrus

It couldn't just be "John Doe" or "Bingo"

My address, a made-up language written out in living glyphs

Lifted from demonic literature and religious text

Telephone, uncovered by purveyors of the ouija

When checked against the CBGB women's room graffiti

My social, a sudoku; my age is obscure

My in-case-of-emergency is in the daisies, chasing birds

Employed by trillionaires with perfect teeth and pores

And people who open doors for the people who open doors

My medical history is a course at SUNY Buffalo

Charlatan psychiatry and troubleshooting undertow

Nervous in the service, still; I'm burger meat and purple pills

—"Here." —"Thank you. We'll call your name." —"Sure, you will."

[Interlude]

Skipped lunch

I'm shrunk

[Verse 2]

You pack up all your manias, you're sitting in the waiting room

You're dreaming of arcadia, you're feeling like a baby tooth

Awaiting panacea, channeling your inner Beowulf

In purgatory, just before you pay up to filet yourself and others

In the name of help, coal on a conveyor belt

Into ego death alone, no telephone from Gabriel

I'm half a human, combin' over Home and Garden, stoned

Gold chains over turtleneck, cigars over cologne

A thousand shitty paintings wrapped around a wounded animal

Woo him with the Schubert, he's a future human cannonball

Little fuckers fighting, mother hiding in her Hulu

I'm climbing up the stucco, let's get to the seppuku—uh-oh

That pretty penny turned the prickly into Benji

If you save up all your winnings, then you get to count your blessings

I finally crunched the budget up and punched the button

She called my name out and pushed me into an oven

[Interlude]

The fuck?

I'm shrunk

[Verse 3]

She says, "I'm not your enemy."

I said, "That sounds like something that my enemy would say."

Instead of playing off the chemistry

She said, "You're being difficult." I said, "I'm being guarded

You're a quarter-mil' in debt; I get more guidance from my barber

Look—I'm not good at this; I grew up in a noogie-fest

You built your walls up high or said goodbye to all your Cooky-Puss

Here's one: Every time my telephone buzzes

I see images of hooded riders setting fire to hundreds."

She said, "When you start getting all expressive and symbolic

It's impossible to actualize an honest diagnostic."

I said, "When you start getting all exact and algebraic

I'm reminded it's a racket, not a rehabilitation."

Okay, agree to disagree as grown-ups from opposing clans

Honoring the push and pull, I should've called the Scholomance

Oh well, preservation is a doozy

—"Will you be needing another appointment?" —"Absolutely."

I'm shrunk!