Never ending nightmare but I cannot decide

If it's a byproduct of memories or pride

Communicate the symptoms, or should I even try?

Maybe it's all just my state of mind

This never ending moment just never seems to die

But this is when I realize

That it's so typical of the way that I feel

Why is it such a mystery that I still feel this way?

Holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away

Just give me something real that can hold onto

So I don't have to feel the way I never want to, I never want to

Just a simple gesture meant to signify

The will I've fought so hard to keep alive

Another complication but I won't question why

My best attempts cannot control my own demise

Why do I strive to make you, as dead as feel?

Why is it such a mystery that I still feel this way?

Holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away

Just give me something real that can hold onto

So I don't have to feel the way I never want to

I never meant to hurt you despite all your surprise

But I locked you up with everything

I try but couldn't find

You never meant to scar me from what I could surmise

But my superficial wounds are scabbed

With the words that you've advised

And in this mass confusion you've rendered me unkind

And only sacrificial crucifixion can

Justify the crime

Now life looks better through your eyes

Why is it such a mystery that I still feel this way?

Holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away

Just give me something real that can hold onto

So I don't have to feel the way I never want to

I never want to