[Intro]

[Mike]

Listen guys

We need a new song by tomorrow

[Brandon]

Uh...

[Mike]

I just produced this really fire beat

And we're just gonna spit over it

[Saverio]

Spit?

What do you mean spit?

[Brandon]

Spit what?

[Mike]

Yeah, just make stuff up

Freestyle

[Saverio]

Whoah whoah!

No no no no!

None of us know how to freestyle!

[Brandon]

No no no

Wait wait wait

I can't...

I...

Yeah I...

[Mike]

Look, it doesn't have to make sense!

Freestyle doesn't have to make sense

You can just make stuff up

And have it sound cool

Just do it

Go!

Brandon!

Get on it!

[Brandon]

Uh, okay...

Wait, me?

Oh shit!

Shit!

Okay...

[Verse 1: Brandon]

Ayo, it's Turnt Pollo on the track

Bass so hard

It make your titties fucking smack

And make her ribs shake

Call that bitch baby back

Her chest is so hot

It's like she got an oven rack

Jumpman

Super Mario can't even touch me

Padre hopped the border

Just to see the country

Murder every word

Then hang out with my homie Bundy

Chicken finger, french fries

Now I'm fucking hungry

Tryna eat some cake

Shawty got fat slices

Your girl got the sugar tits

But my girl got the spices

She preggers, but her nurse is hot

Call that a midwife crisis

All these economic bitches

Going down like gas prices

You so basic

I'm wondering how we gon' make it

We so underground, we in the basement

How we gon' make a dollar

When we don't even make cents?

My flow is a fluid

My hoe is a nudist

I'm going in stupid

And when I say stupid

I really mean stupid

As stupid as you is

'Cause none of this shit even makes sense

Psych nah!

I'm Einstein when I rhyme words

Got a scoliosis hoe

Hit her so hard from the back

That her spine hurts

[Verse 2: Saverio]

My turn!

Okay, time to give the people

What they paid for

My head's up in the clouds

And I'm about to make it rain

Like a motherfucking brainstorm

I'm hung low

I could trip and fall

On my dick and balls

I don't fuck around

I'm gung ho

Cause this girl's tits

Are to fricking large

'Bout to get the W

Racing way in front of you

Liquor was a hundred-proof

And I can feel it coming through

She was really freaky

Pussy stretching like elastic

Her sister's hips we twisters

But her tits were made of plastic

Her mom was not that hot

But you can bet I paper bagged it

Then I slammed her fucking granny

I don't care her tits were sagging

Faggot, your dick's lick a chapstick cap

My dick's like a Cadillac

It's 'bout to disappear inside her ass

Like it's a magic act

That's a fact, bitch

You can check the math, bitch

You can talk smack and call us whack

But three half wits adds up

To a genius and a half, bitch

She fat with a p-h

Titties jiggling in instant replay

But it's the time of the month

When her vagina runs bloody like D-Day

She getting naked on FaceTime

Showing me her black hole

Big enough to break space time

She's pretty cool

But she's always getting ridiculed

Because her personality

Is about as deep as a kiddie pool

[Verse 3: Mike]

Silly goose

We'll see how willing you are

To spill the truth

When I knock a couple fillings loose

And jump you like

The criminals in the city of Philly do

I'm limit-proof

With enough bass to make the ceiling move

But then the upstairs neighbors knock

And ask if I'm okay or not

Guess they forgot that to me

They're like a chamber pot

I give them shit like it's a paying job

The fit of rage I got

Was flaming hot

So I painfully filleted them on the spot

Seasoned them with Old Bay

And ate them hot

With a side of tater tots

Okay, maybe not

My imagination got the best of me

They didn't say a lot

Politely asked me to quiet down a bit

But never more in my life

Have I wanted to pound a bitch

Took a walk to get my head straight

Carry my body like dead weight

Legs scraping across the wet pavement

Thinking it's about time that I get laid

That's when I met a sex crazed redhead babe

Then to make in impression

I said hey

Suddenly she's on her knees

Tryna fellate

Salivating, wanna know how them breasts taste

Hoe you know that

I like it when you call me sensei

I'm karate chopping them titties

Bodies rocking, the bed shakes

Mollywhop her with my lollipop

Let's say I'm in a movie titled

"The Theory of My Gravitational Attraction To That Ass"

Starring Eddie Redmayne

Woke up the next day with a headache

She's already awake

Next to me in bed

Saying, "I'm in love with you honey-boo

I know you love me too

And I can't wait until our wedding day!"

And I'm like "Hold up a second!

Don't get ahead of yourself, wait!

I pro'lly can't explain

Whatever happened yesterday, but

Eh, fuck it

I might as well confess and say

That I was so focused on getting laid

I think that I forget your name."

Criminy sakes!

It was just a little mistake

But I didn't consider the stakes

Dumb bitch told me

This love shit isn't a game

Told her, "you're giving me shit

That I ain't gonna sit here and take

You're a little insane

And a literal pain in my ass!"

Uh oh

She went into a critical rage

Tryna intimidate me

I got chased into the garden

And hit with a rake

Speaking of chaste

I better stick with chastity

Scratch that actually, cause in reality

I'd happily smash it

I'm rapidly babbling at faster speeds

Battling gravity

HAL and me 'bout to flee from the galaxy

I'm a lyrical criminal

Got police coming after me

Cause I'm attacking a beat like a savage

'Till it's screaming in agony

I'm the king of the game

And I'm 'bout to harness all of my faculty

Like a battery

Until I spit a masterpiece