[Verse 1]

My boss came up to me at lunch

Said I'm employee of the month

Party scheduled for next week

Booze and food

It's gonna be sweet

Amstel Light

And finger food

Everyone in a good mood

The chicken wings were really greasy

Making my stomach queasy

[Bridge 1]

They called my name and started to clap

I blasted chunks in the boss's lap

[Chorus 1]

It's a crit miss

Finger food

Crit miss!

In a good mood

Crit miss!

I'm at a loss

Projectile vomit

On my boss

[Verse 2]

Driving out

To the show

I've got the urge to go

Traffic is at the main gate

It's getting hard for me to wait

Port-o-john isn't far

I take off running

Out the car

Ass gasket down

I start to squat

Man, i sure can crap a lot

[Bridge 2]

Of single-ply i'm not a fan

My fingers tear through

I shit in my hand

[Chorus 2] X 2

It's a crit miss

Got to squat

Crit miss!

Over the pot

Crit miss!

I missed the band

Because i shit on my hand

[Breakdown]

Crit miss is like an epic fail

Like dropping the soap when you're in jail

[Verse 3]

I met her at the comic con

She had her Bat-girl costume on

I was dressed as Iron Man

Before you know

We're holding hands

Things were really going well

I took her back to my hotel

Flipped up her skirt

Pulled down the thong

She said let's leave our costumes on

[Bridge 3]

Her mask fell off

Something was wrong

It was my sister all along

[Chorus 3] X 2

It's a crit miss

At comic con

Crit miss!

Shit went all wrong

Crit miss!

Not at my best

Unintentional incest

It's a crit miss